The Beautiful Equation

When you stand in front of the mirror, is your automatic response, "BEAUTIFUL!" Who defines your beauty? Today I talked with forty middle school girls about beauty. Here is what they said.

• Guys try to define our beauty. They think beauty is about our boobs, our butts, and our size.


• Magazines and media try to characterize our beauty. They say skinny and pretty is where it's at & beauty is only skin deep.


• The retail industry dictates beauty by mascara, lipgloss, Abercrombie, and Coach.


• Friends define beauty by the way you look, dress, and popularity.

What do we do when we can't become this beauty? Give up? Hate ourselves? Stop eating or throw-up? Settle for mediocrity? Try to be someone else?



There is one final option. Choose not to conform to the beauty of the world & be transformed by changing your definition of beauty. (Romans 12:2)



1 Peter 3:3-4 says, "Your beauty shouldn't come from outward adornment, like braided hair, wearing gold jewelry and fine clothes. Instead it should be that of your inner self."



God's view of beauty is in complete and total opposition of the world's! True beauty comes from inside. Real beauty is loving God with all your heart, being kind to the weak, speaking gently to your family, having patience in the car, being self-controlled when you want to pound someone or yell and scream, showing compassion for the hurting, listening when someone is in need, sharing wholesome fun times with friends and family, reaching out to a neighbor.



Real beauty is actually a reflection of God! It's like a math equation.

a + b = c

God is beautiful. I am created in the image of God. I am beautiful.

Psalm 27:4 Genesis 1:27



Next time you stand in front of the mirror, your automatic response should be, "BEAUTIFUL!" Why? Not because of anything we have done but because we are simply a reflection of the one who made and loves us.

What Does Your Swagger Say?

Does the way you carry yourself say something about the person you are? What about the way you dress or the swagger in your stride?

Several weekends ago I attended a fabulous Pop Choir Show hosted by an area High School with my daughter and one of her guy friends. The students performed catchy show tunes with entertaining dances. One of the routines, however, stood out like a sore thumb. After listening to little orphan Annie sing about tomorrow and the choir describing Ariel’s life under the sea, five teen girls in skin tight short black dresses sauntered across the stage wearing red feather boas. The song was an extremely suggestive number that I was rather embarrassed for my daughter’s friend to watch.

As the girls finished the shady performance, the young man with us leaned over and off the top of his head made a rather profound statement. It caught me off guard, but was absolutely true. He said, “You can tell which one of those girls aren’t virgins.”

Girls and women often reveal a lot about their heart, priorities, and needs in their dress and posture. How can we help young girls and ourselves become the beautiful women we are intended to be?

In “Redefining Beautiful,” Jenna Lucado defines beautiful as “what God sees when He sees you.” Think about that statement. What does God see when He sees you, His daughter? He sees you, the apple of His eye, the gifts He has placed in you to be used for His glory, the plans He has to prosper you and not harm you, the image of Himself, His beautiful creation. When we discover and accept who we are when He sees us...our swagger will shine like the sun and our dress will reflect the princess position we hold as a child of the King. Maybe one day someone will look at us and say, “You can tell which one of those girls aren’t aware of the person she is in Christ” and it's not her!

What's The Difference?

What is the difference in Sam Walton (founder of Wal-Mart) and your next door neighbor or Oprah Winfrey and your best friend? Some would say fame. Others might suggest fortune. I would like to offer a 12 letter word...PERSEVERANCE.

Today I heard the story of "The Luge Man," Ruben Gonzalez. He was raised in Houston, Tx, did not excel in any sport throughout middle or highschool nor in college, began training for the Olympics at 21 years old. Yet, he competed in four winter Olympics in three decades in the sport of luge. How can anyone from muggy, humid Houston become an Olympian in the LUGE? Doesn't that require snow and freezing temperatures?

As Ruben shared his story, several statements settled in my mind.
1. The only difference in people who have books written about them and me is PERSEVERANCE. Every person who has achieved a dream has the same story - dream, challenge, perseverance.
2. Very few people remain standing when the challenge fades - only those who persevere - the bulldogs. When Ruben arrived at training camp, the coach said only a handful of you will survive this training. Ruben immediately thought, "Good for me. I can win by attrition."
3. People who face the challenge with joy, faith, and resolve reach their dreams.
4. Challenges and trials are simply learning experiences from which to grow, change, and become better.

What is the difference between Bill Gates and me or Billy Graham and you? It's a long word that carries much weight.

"Consider it all joy my brother when you face trials of many kinds because you know the testing of your faith produces perserverance. Perseverance must finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, lacking nothing." James 1:2-4

Discover & Develop

Do you dread it when people talk about talents? Have you ever thought, "I don't have a talent!"
Because society has labeled "talents" for us, we don't see the gifts we've been given as talents. A talent is simply a natural ability.

Last night at church we had Champion Forest Student Ministry's Got Talent. We had gymnasts, violin and violists, singers, tuba players, and more. Melissa, an 8th grade girl, and I did a headstand routine. Yes, we stood on our heads for a rather long period of time and did amazing moves with our feet and legs. That may sound strange and it did bring much laughter from the audience, but how many people do you know can stand on their heads and for a long period of time? That is a gift, strange, but a gift!

What are your natural abilities? What are the things you like and do well that other people can't do? In what areas do people compliment you?

For example...
Can you keep a plant alive?
Are you a quick and easy problem solver?
Do you enjoy cooking and the results are always yummy?
Can you decorate a home and make it beautiful without much effort?
Are you good with animals?
Can you read and follow instructions to put something together?
Do you naturally encourage people?
Can you design a website?
Are you musically inclined?
Do you enjoy teaching or coaching?
Can you climb, swim, run, or bike without effort?
Do you make decisions easily?
Are you a good conversationalist or are you better at listening?
Do you enjoy drawing, writing, or designing?

Because Americans watch approximately 8 hours of television in a 24 hour period and spend valuable time on the computer, we are loosing our talents. We don't think we have talents because we haven't spent time discovering and developing them.

This week think about something you enjoy and do well. Ask friends and family what your talents are and try something new that you have always wanted to do. Who knows, you might discover a new gift and you too could be on CFBC Student Ministry's Got Talent.

"We have different gifts, according to the grace given us." Romans 12:6

Is There Ever A Perfect Sunday Morning?

I got up early Sunday morning, put the roast in the oven, cleaned the kitchen, spent time in the Word, hummed quietly to myself as I applied mascara when I heard a knock on the bedroom door.
"Come in," I responded.

My daughter with bed hair and puffy eyes scowled, "Where is my anti-freeze?"
I gently replied, "I don't know sweetheart," recognizing that the wrong tone or choice of words could possibly send her into a teenage fit that I really did not want to endure while trying to prepare to go and "worship the Lord."

"Where did you put it?" I quietly asked.

"It was on my floor in my room and you put it somewhere when you vaccuumed," she grimaced as she glared at me with a look that could kill.

The conversation went from bad to worse in a matter of seconds. After dad got involved and I resorted to getting within millimeters of her nose and angrily saying words that really didn't help the situation, a voice in my heart said, "Hello. This isn't right."
I walked away from the heated moment which had moved from my bathroom to hers and told her, "I'll be back in a minute."

That small voice whispered deep in my soul, "Peace MAKER. Is what you are doing making peace?"

At that moment I realized, when she asked about the anti-freeze I should have replied, "What is your anti-freeze?" I would have quickly learned that it was the bottle that I thought was empty and threw away on Friday. At that point I could have apologized for accidentally throwing away the anti-freeze and maybe the whole situation could have gone from bad to better.

I walked into my daughter's bathroom and explained how I could have made peace instead of creating a disaster. As I apologized for my behavior and told her how I didn't like it when people got within millimeters of my nose and that I should not have done that tears began to roll down her cheeks, she grabbed me and gave me a big hug.

WOW! What a big difference 2 words can make. "I'm sorry."

I learned a very valuable lesson Sunday morning. Apologizing breaks down barriers and opens doors to relationships. Those 2 words are powerful and mandatory tools in the art of Peace MAKING!

"Those who are peacemakers will plants seeds of peace and reap a harvest of righteousness." James 3:18

There Is Pain In Waiting

I once heard someone say,

"Sometimes you have to break a child's will without breaking her heart."

Some people would think that is harsh or cruel. Other's would blow it off and find it insignificant. I, on the other hand, write with eyes full of tears because today I am watching the will of a child be broken. It is necessary and must be done, but as I've heard many parents say and never understood as a child, "This does hurt me more than it hurts her."

What I would give to hold her in my arms right now, rock her like I used to when she was a baby, and tell her everything will be alright. But I know that now is not that time. Right now, she must experience the consequences of a choice wrongly made. She must learn from her mistakes and become the lady God created her to be and I must in silence and prayer watch as her little strong will is gently cracked and her world feels as though it is falling apart.

The strength of a mother may seem so small and fragile compared to some, but every mother knows the strength required to watch one of her little ones fall and the discipline required to let the child find her way back into the hand of her Maker on her own.

While I patiently wait, I cling to the promise,
"No discipline seems pleasant at the time, but painful. Later on, however, it produces a harvest of righteousness and peace for those who have been trained by it." Hebrews 12:11

Perspective from Kenya

Are you thankful for what you have? I was challenged by this question last week when a guy in one of my classes shared this story. A pastor from Kenya came to speak at his church. The ministry staff took the guest to dinner. The group went to a top-notch restaurant and ordered the foreigner a nice steak. The gentleman's meal arrived at the table first. To be polite my friend said, "Go ahead and eat. You don't have to wait for us." The guest paused, looked quizically and replied, "Is this just for me? I thought this was for everyone. This food could feed my family."

Later as the group traveled through the city during the icestorm, the visitor looked out across the yards. Sheets and blankets covered plants and shrubs as homeowners tried to protect their plants from the freeze. The gentleman gazing out the car window politely said, "You have blankets for your plants and trees. My country does not even have enough blankets for it's people."

As I listened to the stories about this Kenyan pastor, the question rattled in my mind, "Are you thankful for what you have?" Sometimes it takes a stranger to help us see how blessed we really are.